Forge Your Own Path

Let me start by telling you a story. Of a little girl who easily lost herself in the needs of others, until the pain of not connecting with her true self become so strong she finally found her voice.

My childhood felt like it was all about the needs of others. The need to be happy because my family wasn't. The need to love unconditionally because others didn't love themselves. The need to be quiet because the truth hurt.

I carried this sense of having to be what others needed for most of my life. I can only speak for myself, but I believe we all carry some version of this within us. If we are not careful these stories, these patterns, these beliefs can shape a path that leads us so far away from our true self until the pain becomes too much for us to bear.

I continued to build my life around feeling needed by others. I went into a job where I was a caretaker. I got into friendships where I became the type of friend they needed to feel supported. I tried to embody what I sensed those I dated wanted and needed me to be.

And this all left me feeling empty and created a pain that could only be numbed by drinking too much, telling myself it was all fun, that my life was mine, that I was living my best life.

Until I got tired of the pain. I got tired of feeling stuck. I felt tired of feeling needed.

It was the only thing I knew. But now I have made it my mission to find value in myself that isn't attached to another needing me. To forge my own path that feels true to who I am. I don't have all the answers. But I want to know who I am. So much so I am willing to do the internal work to connect with myself more and more and more. My path may feel messy at times, but it feels beautifully mine.

If you have some kind of version of this whether it is people pleasing, finding your value in how others see you, fear of being yourself and so on. You are not alone.

And if you want to forge a path that feels connected, and free, you can. We all have the ability to break away from the chains that keep us reliving the same story over and over again. And it starts with asking yourself questions and then truly listening too what is coming from within you.

Here is a place you can start. An exercise to try to break away from what you know and step into what your life can become.

Ask yourself this

  1. Who do I want to be?

See what come up for you. Instead of focusing on what you want to do, focus on who you want to become. This can reveal the work we need to do on ourselves as well as the things that make us feel alive.

2. What is my #1 challenge that is standing in my way? And what could happen if I don't try and transform or change it?

This can help us discover how we may be getting in our own way. What is standing between you and this person you want to be? What could happen if you don't do anything about it? Explore this question, and then seek out ways you can address the answers that come up. We and only we are responsible for seeking the support needed to move forward in life.

3. Imagine it is three years from now. You are now this person you wanted to be when you answered the question in this blog post. What did you do to become this person? And what impact has becoming this person had on your life?

Sometimes we need to envision the future within the present moment to remind ourselves of our ability to transform and forge our own paths NOW. I love this exercise as a way to get out of my head, dream the impossible, and realize the impossible is actually doable because I am capable.

You can ponder on these, write about them, talk to someone about them, leave them because it isn't for you. Whatever you chose, is right for you. I only wish to encourage you to explore in new ways. So that you can go on a journey that feels like YOU.

Thank you for taking the time. If this helps, resonates, inspires just one person, I am grateful.

If you have any questions or wish to connect you can always email me at chelseycooperhealing@gmail.com

You may also reach out if you are interested in joining a mastermind group around being true to yourself and forging your path in life. This group is called Spirited Rebels, let me know if you are interested:)

F**K The Shoulds

Stop feeling burnt out by being and doing what you or everyone thinks you should!

Have you ever felt like you were trying so hard at this thing called life? And somewhere along the way of trying, you have a moment of wondering what am I actually doing with my life? Who the hell am I? 

I worked really hard at life. I tried to be and do what I thought I should. I believed that would make me feel whole, successful, and accepted. 

It wasn’t until I said fuck it to all the shoulds, shouldn’ts, I have to be this, do that, this is right and this is wrong, did I find myself. 

And you can too! You can find yourself again. Rediscover your passions and live life on your own terms. 
Now this is a long road type of journey. I am still working on it myself, still asking myself who am I, and what do I want. Still catching myself in old patterns. But even when it is hard, I am still a lot happier then when I followed things that weren't true to me.

Let these three things help you start your journey, provide inspiration, and bring up questions in yourself you don't have the answers to yet.

  1. Words are Powerful

I am not the first one to point out that our words, what we think, and how we say things shape our reality. But man is it a game changer! What we say and how we say it can create our energy, shape our perspective, and design our life.

So a good place to begin is to change how you have been voicing your decisions.

Let me ask you this. Do you say should, shouldn't, have to? We all have and most likely we all do sometimes.

I have made it my mission to replace these words. And I encourage you to try and do the same. Even when it comes to the most mundane of things, see how it can shift your energy, your sense of control, and overall well being.

I'll give you an example. Let's use the idea around work. Whether you like what you do or not. You could say " I should get up at 6am to get to work on time because I have to clock in before 7:30am and I shouldn't be late again."

Or you could take that whole scenario and say "I want to get up at 6am because it makes it easier for me to clock in at 7:30am and I want to be on time to show I am dedicated to this job."

How we phrase things can be powerful. In one the control is outside of ourselves. It is a rule, that in no way says, this is what I want or would make me feel good. The other is stated in a way where you appear in control, you are doing things that make your life easier, and have a reason, such as showing you are dedicated to the job.

This takes a lot of practice! So be patient, try it and see what happens.

2. Listen Internally and Ask Internal Questions

I don't know about you, but I spent a lot of my life listening to other's opinions on what I should/nt do, and who I was. And that lead me to pain, feeling lost, and a broken relationship with myself.

But I will be the first to admit, listening to yourself and asking yourself tough questions is hella scary.

My advice to you is to stop asking others and take a scary deep dive into yourself. It doesn't matter if you have no idea who you are or have any answers to the questions you seek.

All that matters is that you take the time to be with you. To want to explore who you are and what the possibilities could be.

Just go there. Ask yourself Who Am I? What Do I Want? What Do I Need? What Would Make Me Feel Good? Am I Willing To Feel Good?

or make up your own questions. Then all you have to do is listen. But listen internally. If it is blank, keep asking. Write out thoughts that arise. Keep exploring. Keep creating space for yourself.

3. Experiment

No one has all the answers. But those who seek them, who get out of their comfort zone, try what they never have before, find something more valuable along the way. They discover more about what makes them feel alive, what they dislike, and learn so many lessons that cannot be learned by just staying in one place.

So get out there and experiment. If you think you may want something, explore it. Go to a class, say yes to an invitation, book that ticket.

Play BIG. Life is incredible, scary, and meant to be lived. Stop following the guidelines that are placed upon you, and create your own.

This is my passion, to unlock who you really are, not what you think you are, not your limitations, not your society, but who you are to the core. And to enjoy the journey when you finally say yes to wanting to seek your authentic self.

I hope this has inspired you to think outside of the should/nts. To want to take the first step to discovering your needs, passions, and approach to life.

I believe in you and I believe you can create endless possibilities. You don't need a coach, but if you want one I am here.

You can email me at chelseycooperhealing@gmail.com or visit my offerings page Here

Fear of Failure: An Invitation for Transformation

First let me start off by saying we don't know what we don't know. Meaning we can easily make excuses, and back out of the scary unknown. Never leaving the comfort of our cozy zone to experience what is on the other side of fear.

Have you ever done something for so long you got to the point of feeling like you could do it in your sleep? Well I reached that point recently and was overcome by a feeling of emptiness and boredom.

We know what we are good at, we like being good at things. It is natural to enjoy what we already know and feel rewarded by doing it well. But what if we stepped out of that, allowed ourselves to mess up, and change in ways that moved us forward.

When I decided to step out of my comfort zone, it was not easy. I remember having a desire to lead my own workshop. Very soon after a pop up in my area was taking applications for workshops at their store. Seemed so perfect! So I did something scary and signed up. But that was not the really scary part. Getting a yes and then thinking oh crap! now I have to figure out what I want to do, how to do it, and lead people in a way I have never done before.

So I prepared, and I practiced. I sat in my fear. I got so worked up and caught up in the process. Determined to make it the best workshop ever! And then the night before I got an email from the event manager informing me only two people had signed up. She asked if I would like to cancel. Talk about failure. I broke down in tears. I never considered no one would show. I felt defeated and disappointed.

But having a background in dance. I kept the tears falling, my nose running, and the mindset of "the show must go on." I decided to do it anyways. I was determined to change and step out of my boredom. Remembering it was to be of service, but to also allow myself to grow, be uncomfortable, and move through it.

Long story short. Six people came, lots of obstacles came up, and it definitely wasn't perfect. But overall it felt good. And most important, I had to believe in myself and just show up.

So I ask of you to believe in yourself so much so, that no matter what you show up. And whatever happens to be proud that you did.

Here are a few tricks to try the next time fear of failure comes up for you, and how you can move through and allow for transformation.

  1. Remember We All Have A Default Mode

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results" Albert Einstein

We all have our patterns, our habits, and our programming. This is our default mode. It it what we turn to on a regular basis to get through our day. If we don't challenge ourselves to go outside of this, we run the risk of doing the same thing over and over again.

Make it a point to challenge yourself. To take that initial step outside of your comfort zone. To question beyond what you ever thought was possible. See what happens when you get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And learn to love that space. Try something you dreamed of doing, but never took the step to try. And remember there is so much support out there for you, all you have to do is ask.

2. Make It Your Mission To Fail

We are not our failure. We are not our fear. We are not our limits. You are powerful, capable, and limitless. Instead of focusing all your attention on doing it right. What if you made it your mission to fail. Allowed for it to be messy. I guarantee you most of us trying something for the first time, do so ungracefully. And that is perfectly OK. Get passed the fear of failure by making failure the mission. See how that shifts your perspective, and if you do end up doing it perfectly then that is a welcomed surprise.

3. Just Show Up

Show up fully. Bring your greatest super power, your belief in YOU. If you are not your biggest fan, then it is time we change that. Remember those moments when you totally rocked at something. Connect to that person who showed up and conquered. We can get so caught up in the fear we forget that we got ourselves to many many places in our lives. We climbed mountains before, we messed up and continued on, we felt fear and it did it anyway. Believe in yourself and let that guide you to show up. Know that once you show up, transformation will follow. No matter what happens you learned something new. It is a priceless gift to learn in this lifetime and gain wisdom along the way.

Final note. I believe in you. I know you have power and wisdom within. And I know you are so much stronger than the fear of failure.

I am here for you, I support you, and if you would like additional support from me feel free to email me at chelseycooperhealing@gmail.com

Mornings Simplified

We have all been there! Waking up feeling rushed and frazzled, and out of sorts. Just trying to grab everything we need, and running out the door. Not having any moments of calm, peace, or order.

What if we could begin shifting that? So we could go from a frazzled mess to an intentional morning, built for you.

How can we begin to create an intentional morning?

Let’s begin with simplifying your morning with a little preparation.

 "I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning." J. B. Priestley

So we can begin each day as a fresh start and welcome a little more magic into our day.

We will begin by looking at food, cleaning, and bedtime.

Let's start with my favorite subject, food!

In my experience some of my most hectic, out of sorts mornings have been when I don’t have time to eat breakfast. I start my day on the hangryest type of moods. Yup that is a new word and I am making it a thing. You can be hangry and you can be the hangryest of all.

Our morning sets the tone and our bellies deserve the best. Even if you are not a breakfast type person. Having something light available or even an already packed lunch can make all the difference. 

What can you do the night before to make food in the morning easier?

Is it getting all the ingredients ready?

Making breakfast the night before? Like overnight oats.

Keeping something for breakfast at work. Packing your lunch in a way that gives you energy if you didn't have breakfast. Simplify how you use food in the morning with some preparation

.

Now my least favorite, cleaning. Waking up to an already messy kitchen or room can start your day with a feeling of mess. Imagine you wake up to a mess, don’t have time to clean in the morning, and come home to the same mess, when you are tired and unwilling. And the cycle repeats.

What could you clean up the night before that would make your morning feel fresh?

Maybe your goal is to always have dishes done or dishwasher loaded before bed.

Maybe it is to have your outfit laid out for the morning, and the rest put away. Or you have bins placed around the house and can easily place toys and things in a designated bin before bed. 

Be creative with your preparation the night before. And make it work for you!!

Now lastly, Bedtime:)

 Oh man going to bed at a decent time can sometimes feel impossible. Shutting down and unwinding can seem like a distant dream. But having a goal in mind for when you would like to be in bed, can make all the difference.

Setting that intention, knowing it will create an even better morning. 

Pick a bedtime that seems doable for you. Be honest with yourself.

And ask yourself. When do I normally go to bed? Can I aim for being in bed 15 minutes earlier?
Gradually work up to a rhythm. And if you fall off the wagon, Yay! that means your human! 

It happens to us all and just keep focused on the intention behind it all. Notice how you feel in the morning after you have made these small shifts?
And when you find a preparation flow that feels really good, you will continue to strive to have more of it. 

 Because my dear friend, you deserve it!

Check out the video below

Sending lots of good vibes your way:)


Watch Video Here!




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