First let me start off by saying we don't know what we don't know. Meaning we can easily make excuses, and back out of the scary unknown. Never leaving the comfort of our cozy zone to experience what is on the other side of fear.
Have you ever done something for so long you got to the point of feeling like you could do it in your sleep? Well I reached that point recently and was overcome by a feeling of emptiness and boredom.
We know what we are good at, we like being good at things. It is natural to enjoy what we already know and feel rewarded by doing it well. But what if we stepped out of that, allowed ourselves to mess up, and change in ways that moved us forward.
When I decided to step out of my comfort zone, it was not easy. I remember having a desire to lead my own workshop. Very soon after a pop up in my area was taking applications for workshops at their store. Seemed so perfect! So I did something scary and signed up. But that was not the really scary part. Getting a yes and then thinking oh crap! now I have to figure out what I want to do, how to do it, and lead people in a way I have never done before.
So I prepared, and I practiced. I sat in my fear. I got so worked up and caught up in the process. Determined to make it the best workshop ever! And then the night before I got an email from the event manager informing me only two people had signed up. She asked if I would like to cancel. Talk about failure. I broke down in tears. I never considered no one would show. I felt defeated and disappointed.
But having a background in dance. I kept the tears falling, my nose running, and the mindset of "the show must go on." I decided to do it anyways. I was determined to change and step out of my boredom. Remembering it was to be of service, but to also allow myself to grow, be uncomfortable, and move through it.
Long story short. Six people came, lots of obstacles came up, and it definitely wasn't perfect. But overall it felt good. And most important, I had to believe in myself and just show up.
So I ask of you to believe in yourself so much so, that no matter what you show up. And whatever happens to be proud that you did.
Here are a few tricks to try the next time fear of failure comes up for you, and how you can move through and allow for transformation.
- Remember We All Have A Default Mode
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results" Albert Einstein
We all have our patterns, our habits, and our programming. This is our default mode. It it what we turn to on a regular basis to get through our day. If we don't challenge ourselves to go outside of this, we run the risk of doing the same thing over and over again.
Make it a point to challenge yourself. To take that initial step outside of your comfort zone. To question beyond what you ever thought was possible. See what happens when you get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And learn to love that space. Try something you dreamed of doing, but never took the step to try. And remember there is so much support out there for you, all you have to do is ask.
2. Make It Your Mission To Fail
We are not our failure. We are not our fear. We are not our limits. You are powerful, capable, and limitless. Instead of focusing all your attention on doing it right. What if you made it your mission to fail. Allowed for it to be messy. I guarantee you most of us trying something for the first time, do so ungracefully. And that is perfectly OK. Get passed the fear of failure by making failure the mission. See how that shifts your perspective, and if you do end up doing it perfectly then that is a welcomed surprise.
3. Just Show Up
Show up fully. Bring your greatest super power, your belief in YOU. If you are not your biggest fan, then it is time we change that. Remember those moments when you totally rocked at something. Connect to that person who showed up and conquered. We can get so caught up in the fear we forget that we got ourselves to many many places in our lives. We climbed mountains before, we messed up and continued on, we felt fear and it did it anyway. Believe in yourself and let that guide you to show up. Know that once you show up, transformation will follow. No matter what happens you learned something new. It is a priceless gift to learn in this lifetime and gain wisdom along the way.
Final note. I believe in you. I know you have power and wisdom within. And I know you are so much stronger than the fear of failure.
I am here for you, I support you, and if you would like additional support from me feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org